Whoa, Nelly!

I decided months ago that I would be one of those lucky women who never experienced morning sickness.  

You always hear women exclaim, “I just LOVED every minute of being pregnant.” I was bound and determined to be just like them!  Unfortunately, my hormones had different plans for me… 

Starting on my birthday, of all days, the grossness came to dwell over me and has yet to leave.  Of course, now all of those glowing pregnant woman who rave about the beauty and joy of pregnancy have become my nemesis.  

Seriously?  No one tells you that it is THIS TOUGH!  I know that every pregnancy is unique, but I have to say that I had no idea that my days would start with vertigo and end in hugging the toilet in tears.  I have to say that my “Spidey Senses” are partially to blame, because my increased superpowers of smell can pick up a sharpie pen being used in a room down the hall… Anything offensive to the olfactory senses and my sniffer will find it.  Add to that the ever increasing gag reflexes which, of course, are now directly in tune with the scents of yuckiness… And gross. 

To those women who loved every minute of being pregnant, I don’t believe you for a second!

No one tells you it’s this hard, as a matter of fact it is a rite of passage.  Those glowing women laugh at your trials and shake their heads in unison as if they’ve survived some sort of war and they know the secrets.  

Only they have!  A war of hormones that they swear will pass around weeks 12 – 14.  I’m at 8 1/2 weeks.  Sigh.

In other news, we had our first ultrasound!  After a very long wait to see the doctor who was in the process of an emergency delivery… We were ushered into a room and allowed to wait some more.  Of course, my mind went everywhere!  “There’s something wrong! They are trying to figure out how to tell me!  Maybe it was a horrible mistake and I’m not pregnant!  How could this be?”

Before too much mania set in, the doctor came in to confirm that the urine test indicated that I am pregnant and then said, “Let’s take a peek!”  

I cannot begin to describe the intensity of emotion that I felt upon seeing the tiny little being that is becoming our child – which coincidentally Rob has nicknamed Junebug.  Although it was bean size on the screen, they are able to zoom in and let you have a real look at the life inside.  Sure enough, there was a flickering of a heartbeat that caught my breath and my heart all at once.  The little beat was so powerful that the monitor picked it up as a little blip and we watched it travel across the HD screen.  

A miracle.  

Our miracle.  

I don’t know that I will ever feel so much in one moment for the rest of my life, but if my instincts are right, in about 7 months I’ll have something to report back on.

It’s amazing how easily you can become relaxed after seeing your baby for the first time.  Even though my body is completely taking care of business, it is difficult to sit back and relax.  To give up control has never been easy for me, but I’m getting there.  2 1/2 more weeks until we see our little Junebug again.  I’ll post pics. Promise!


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