Starlight, Starbright

First star I see tonight, 

I wish I may I wish I might, 

Have this wish I wish tonight… 

For most of my life upon seeing that first twinkling in the night sky, I have made a wish.  

It’s quite different than a prayer, mind you.  It’s for something that you desire that maybe you need to remain between you and the star.  

No cognizance required, just throwing out a wish into the universe.  

Well, it’s safe to say that for the last year my wishes and prayers have been dominated by one recurring theme… “Please let me have a happy and healthy baby, but above all else, please let me be a good mother.”

I’ve never been much for desperation, and I’m certainly not one for begging – unless the clothes are REALLY cute and I REALLY need ’em;) However, God and I have had some pretty interesting moments this year that did consist of me putting it on the line for the big guy.  

Most recently was the 6 am potty call whereas I opened my eyes from a very deep sleep with two words on my mind, “go test.”  No reason, really.  I was due for my period and was quite used to the rejection each month when the witch would rear her ugly head.  Even my husband had gotten quite used to it, in fact, he hardly said a word these days when I returned from the bathroom with tears streaming down my face – my monthly ritual now.

So, I trudged my sleepy self to the bathroom, wearily opened the box and peed on a stick while praying.  Laugh if you want to, but apparently that time of morning is good for the Heavenly Queue.  Honestly, I wasn’t even done and the test started flashing.  Now, I’ll admit that for the first couple of months of trying I sat and stared down test after test for pathetic amounts of time, willing them to change their result.  And unlike my stare for my 7th grade students, the stare-at-the-stick technique was completely ineffective. So, when I realize it’s flashing I sort of wake up to the fact that – I’m testing!  So as I’m fumbling to remove the stick from the “stream” and put the cap on, it changes from flashing – to Pregnant.  In all of about 2.2 seconds.  I was still peeing!  

“Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh.” was about the best I could do.

“Honey!  I need you to come in here right now!”  

Poor, poor Rob.  

He was blissfully still asleep, and probably a bit traumatized as I’m hollering at him from the bathroom.  As he stumbled into the bathroom, I handed him his glasses and he looked at me sort of scared.  But then I handed him the stick.  

He looked at the stick.  

He looked at me. 

He looked at the stick.  

He looked at me. 

Back and forth, back and forth and then, “Oh my gosh.”  

Ha ha ha!  We stared at each other until the tears came streaming down my face (maybe his too but by then I couldn’t see a thing) and that’s when he gave me the most amazing embrace I’ve ever had.  A hug of such meaning that I wish I had it recorded on the magical film of life.  It’s ok, I’ll never forget it.

So this is how our journey begins.  It seems so long, but I know that it was nothing compared to what some people have to endure.  Rob and I are over the moon, and anyone who knows and loves us is along for the ride.  Welcome to our Journey:)


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